Local family featured on Today show - The Virginia Gazette

"We knew from the beginning that parents of multiples have a much higher divorce rate," she said, looking at her husband of 16 years. "We were determined not to let that happen to us."

But the Williamsburg couple admits that they often don't agree on how to discipline their brood.

It's a topic that led them to an appearance on the "Today Show."

Niki stumbled onto the opportunity when she responded to a Facebook post by parenting expert Amy McCready. McCready, the author of the online education program, Positive Parenting Solutions, was asking her followers if they experienced the "good cop, bad cop" dynamic in their home.

That sounded awfully familiar to Niki, and her response led to a phone conversation with McCready and the "Today Show" invitation.

But when Niki first approached Stephen about appearing on the show, he was hesitant.

"I knew who the bad cop was going to be," he said.

The suggestion began a conversation between the Williamsburg couple, and, eventually, Stephen agreed that appearing on the show and accepting coaching could be positive for their family.

"It was almost like a coming out for me," Niki said. "I'm the owner of a nanny agency, and I've given plenty of parenting advice to other people. And this was really letting everyone in on the private happenings in my home."

There's plenty in the family dynamic to be positive about ? the set of five talks about their many outings together, and they have special traditions like breakfast out every Sunday ? but the arguing and yelling must stop.

"The stress level only really increases when we're inside the home," Niki said. "When we're out and about ? and we're out a lot ? everything is fine."

"The kids know their boundaries when they're out of the house," Stephen added. "And they know the line when they're home, too, but they just push beyond it without even a thought."

Scattered meal times, never-ending messiness, over-the-top snacking and struggles with homework are all on the Worrell's list of things they would like to improve.

Niki knows she's the lenient one, picking up the boys' messes for them when she can't get a positive response. Stephen believes he needs to enforce the discipline and make sure his sons know what is expected.

"Sometimes you take the easy way of doing things, especially when everything is so literally multiplied, and you don't even realize you're doing it," Stephen said. "I always wanted to be the relaxed Dad who came in and was ready to play. I don't even know how it turned out this way."

Niki points to the first time she heard Stephen's "Sergeant Major" voice when the boys were toddlers as her realization that her husband's view of parenting was vastly different from hers.

"But I email him all of these articles about parenting saying 'read this,' and that's a terrible way of communicating, isn't it?" she said.

As part of their agreement to appear on the "Today Show," Niki and Stephen will participate in coaching sessions with McCready for the next several months. They will talk with McCready through conference calls and video chats and complete her online course.

When they complete the coaching, they may be asked to return to the "Today Show" to report on their progress.

But simply acknowledging and highlighting the issue has sparked positive change for the Worrells.

"I'm excited to share everything we learn," Niki said. "Everyone I know has said they want me to tell them everything.

"I think everyone deals with these issues, and we just want to be the best parents we can be," she added. "I don't want to say that I want to be a super-parent, but I think we owe it to our children to do the best job that we can."

Are you a good cop or a bad cop?

Amy McCready, expert behind the parent education course, Positive Parenting Solutions, offered these five tips for getting on the same page with your spouse.

? Start with areas on which you agree. Make a list of areas you agree on, and move from there.

? Start small with the non-negotiables. Pick two behavior topics that are non-negotiable, such as keeping tidy, and find a solution that incorporates both parenting styles. McCready suggested that the Worrells set time limits for cleaning up and any toys that are not cleaned up before the time limit will go into a box and put away for one week.

? Have a nonverbal signal. The signal will tell the other parent that there is a disagreement on a discipline issue, and they should set aside time to talk about it away from the children.

? Commit to communicate. Set aside a time once a week to discuss any issues that arose during the week.

? Seek outside help if you can't get on the same page. There are lots of parenting classes, books and other resources that can offer ideas.

The Daily Press will follow up with the Worrells in several months to see the progress they are making and to share tips on successful parenting.

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